Like many innocent pregnant women, I thought that the pregnancy journey ends when you pop that kid out, no matter how it's done. Sure, I was aware of postpartum depression - but I also knew that not every mom experienced PPD. Little did I know that EVERY mom experiences the fourth trimester. There are varying degrees of misery, but don't be fooled - there is most certainly some degree of misery.
Having a baby is fucking hard. It is. Not just the act of birthing the baby. Adjusting to no longer being pregnant and then learning how to take care of a tiny human that relies on you for quite literally everything except breathing is a trip. Within the first hour of being home from the hospital, I had a whole new appreciation for moms EVERYWHERE. We're some bad ass human beings.
See, the thing is, newborns fool you. They're very tricky. You get home from the hospital and, most of the time, these tiny adorable beings do nothing but eat, sleep, and poop. They sleep A LOT. Like kind of an unnatural amount where you wonder if you have a miracle baby who is going to just sleep through the next 18 years and you won't have to worry about puberty, PTA meetings, or teaching them how to not be an asshole. Ha. Ha ha. Guess what? You got got. About a week into their lives, they wake up a little. And then they wake up a little more. And then all hell breaks loose.
Mady was this darling little angel who slept through everything right out of the gate. I was young and naive back then. If only I knew what I know now, I may have been a little more prepared. You guys read through my feeding journey, so you know by now that we'd decided to go the formula route. Well, about 2 weeks in, baby girl started to get fussy during feedings, so we switched from Enfamil Newborn to Enfamil Gentlease. Things were fine for about another week or two, and then the fussing started again, only 10x worse. We're talking screaming between every meal like they cancelled Bravo or something equally horrific. There were times I would be crying right along with her and I would beg my husband to stay home from work after lunch because I just didn't know what to do to stop the crying. We went to the pediatrician a lot. They told me that she had silent reflux and a milk protein intolerance and prescribed Zantac and advised us to switch to a hydrolyzed formula. This means that the cow's milk protein is broken down as much as possible so it's easier to digest.
While all of this is going on, we have a friend's wedding to go to, my sister in law's wedding and festivities the following week, my husband has two out of town golf trips coming up, and I am operating on the sleep I got before she was born. This was what having a baby was? Where was the overwhelming joy and happiness? I wasn't feeling down or depressed or unlike myself. I felt very much like myself - only more tired and upset that my baby, while ridiculously cute, was in pain so often. This, my friends, was the fourth trimester.
Not only are the new parents trying to navigate the world of a new baby and their lives being turned completely upside down; this new baby has been thrust into a world it knows nothing about. My baby was comfy cozy in her uterine nest and we forcefully evicted her cute butt. Now she has acid coming up her esophagus and going back down, causing double the fun, and she can't properly digest cow's milk that her formula is based on. I'd cry all the time too! (And I did.)
Life. Was. Hard. I won't even sugar coat it. I am so lucky that I have a wonderful group of experienced moms and new moms that I could lean on. I could text them at all hours of the day/night and they understood. They commiserated with me, supported me, and reassured me that, this too, shall pass. I am screwed if any of them get sick of me. Actually, they're screwed because I will stalk their asses. But they made it easier. I've never been the girl's-girl; I always gravitated more toward guy friends. I'm finally at the point in my life where I've realized how important it is to have a group of girls in your life and I am so thankful for all of them.
I'm not even kidding, when this kid turned 3 months old it is like a switch flipped. It was that abrupt. One day I had a baby I was taking to a GI specialist because she was still screaming every day multiple times a day, and the next day I had a baby who didn't cry unless she was tired or hungry and was actually smiling at me. SMILING. Babies are nuts. I'm no longer that naive new mom. I know that the fourth trimester is just the start - with babies, everything is a phase...even the good times. The difference is, I'm ready to take on those bad phases because they make the good ones even better.
Stay strong, parents. You've got this.
xoxo
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